Thursday, April 3, 2008

The McDonalds alien.

The following story was messaged to me from Danny Dicola approx 1 year ago after I had arrived back from the states. It involves Alan Young and a stupid alien toy from McDonalds.

"Ok. Alan got this retarded little toy alien thing from a McDonalds children’s meal. It makes these annoying sounds and shit, and he wouldn’t stop the thing from making seriously annoying noises. this was a week or two ago. So I started out with just punching the thing, he would say "stop you’re hurting him!" whenever he turned his back on it id snatch it and beat the fuck out of it! couple days later he found it with an eye burnt out from a cig I put out on it. then I kidnapped it when he was dropping me off at pirate bar. it was held hostage in pirate bar for a couple nights of being tortured with fire and dismembered, I left it on the bar for him to find it.

(next day)
Alan walks in and sees it "HEY YOU FREAKIN JERK! WHYD YOU DO THAT?" he then picked it up and started hugging it, unfortunately it still made that annoying song or whatever the fuck it does. and then he put it back on his dash board. fucking hilarious right? oh but its not over.

(later that night)
With the victim safely locked in his car, I asked for his keys, the dumbass gave them to me thinking nothing of it. I once again kidnapped his precious little toy and put it under his front tire. went back inside the bar like nothing happened.

(one hour later)
On our way out to his car to go to RITE AID, I ask "are you sure you want to do this?" he had no idea he was about to run over his faggot little toy. He started his car so I rolled down my window so he could hear the plastic shatter.....CRUNCH!!!! he stoped the car and knew instantly what I had done "DANNY!!!!!" he cried and picked the toy back up and kept it close to him. By now the thing was burnt, broken, twisted, and silent. Mission accomplished. But it then got worse, he wouldn’t let it go.

The whole ride there he was bitching, "he never did anything to you!, how could you, you freakin meanie!!!"
So, we get to RITE AID and start walking to the store suddenly I snatch the piece of meekrawb out of his hands and he starts chasing me around the parking lot, then I stop and reach out my hand to give it back to him and make a truce.. he smiled and went to grab it back..........then I threw it on the roof of RITE AID. and that was that. Wish you were here to experience the whole thing you would’ve laughed more than I did. He now claims he's gonna climb on the roof and get it back. Never ending."

On Richie’s recent trip over to San Diego a couple months ago he had the pleasure of spending NYE with Al and Danny. On a hungover New Years day the three climbed onto RiteAid and retrieved the stupid toy. It must have been chillin there for a good 14 months or so haha. Richie bought it back with him and now it lives with me over here in Australia.

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