Thursday, May 15, 2008


the wedding was supposed to be on the beach in barcaloneta. directly across the road from our house. when we woke up it was pourrrrrrrrring rain and gail force winds! we all milled around the house wondering what to do. we bombed it across the road to the bar were we were having the reception party lator on that night. the waitor was DISGUSTED when jackboy turned up with a half eaten watermelon, moggins with a pack of biscuits and lane stacked with bagutte, salami, cheese spread, capsicum. lane asked the waitor ¨oh awsome so this is were the wedding dinner is at tonight?¨ he replied with a firm ¨NO¨. we sat around and exchanged stories and tried to brighton the gloomy day. click clock click clock. it was getting closer and CLOSER!!!! the wedding was approaching!
in desperation i gathered the dudes and we bailed to the supermarket suma! i bought a shit oad of booze!!! cans of beer for 30cents a can and cartons appon cartons of that sweet sweet DON SIMON sangria!
we missoned down to the beach and huddled up close smashing beers waiting for friends to arrive! but the conditions were to harsh so we bailed back to the pad. on the way to the beach in sheer desperation i spotted an alley way with 20 sqaure feet of undercover space. soaked and stinking of pisssss. in all seriousness i said to matty steak maybe we should just have it here. being the most positive man in the world he was psyched! but lator told me i was insane!!!!!!!
on the way home from the beach we realised there was an office party at the bottom of our flats! lane pulled a pure lane easily manouver and slid of into the party. back at home with a firm grip of the can we pondered on were to have the wedding wich was at this point overdue!!!!! when lane silently appeared and said the people downstairs wanted to meet me and jackboy! on the way down the stairs i fell and luckily was caught by jerk boy and lane! hahaha sangria in hand and now upon our sholders!!!! we arrived not long after in the warm happy welcoming office party that was jam packed with dutch milfs! they said they wanted to show me somthing because i was getting married! lane and i nervously followed the milfs out the back of the office. and to our surprise there was a poor mans ampitheatre. being the most desperate man in the world and with international guests soon to arrive i asked if we could have the wedding here!!!! they were even more excited then us!
with a rush of hyperactive overload i rannnnnnnnnnnnnnn upto our flat and told everyone the good news!!!!!!! we loaded up with all the drinks and bailed downstairs quickly before they changed there mind! like a band of gypseys we busted through with tassel, don simon, and a jack boy! the vibe was radder then ever as we couldnt believe our luck!!!! everyone rushed out to the ampitheatre were the music was balrring and the peoples were a raging!!!!! some 20 mins lator the wedding began! goodfriend of mary janes markitos carried mary jane down the fake isle and everyone raged hard cheering like animals! me nervously waiting with trusty don in hand! the gypsy-mony began! the priest miki, also a good friend of mary janes was firm. asking everyone to quit down and read from the bible wile me and mary jane were exchanging turns of the sangira. halfway through the wedding the priest took the sangria from us and sampled it himself and proceeded to read from the bible!!!! matty steak dorkings was my best man. and c-lad was mary janes. at the end of the wedding when the priest said u may now kiss the bride we spat sangira in each others faces and made out blinded by the sangria!!!! hahahha. before the wedding began the guy who woned the office ordered us to becareful of the walls as the whole office was just renovated! now covered in sangira spary we raged hardddddddd!!!!! we were entertained by jackboy especially trying to kiss the dutch milf!!! what a badddddddddddddd cunt! she wouldnt have a stitch but he continued to be a cheeky cheeky grommy!!!!
after the wedding the band of gypseys walked across the road through the gail force winds and drenching rain to the old fishermans bar wich we attended earlier this morning! the waiter who served us this morning neally died!!!!!!!!
we sat down on our massive table and started to fieeeeesssst. little tapas of fish, tomato bread and everyones favourite the ´porrĂ³ ^. a vase filled with red wine. u have to pour the stream as long as u can and guzzle it. a deadly weapon! the owner of the bar brought out the mass grande stacked pans sizzling with good good paella! (a rice dish with seaffod: mussels, prawns, fish, shellfish, squid) everyone chowed down heavily!!!!!!
stomachs and taste buds satisfied everyone was in full rage mode but we realized it was only 10 at night. jackboy wipped up some magic and presented us with a bottle of 200 euro moet shampaign that he stole from work! we shook it up and it blew everyweeeerrre! we all passed it around the table and smashed mouthfulls! not long after mary janes friends gave us some cool presents! 2 rad collages. and a bottle of rad austrian wine! the boss of the bar then served us cake and EXTRA strong coffee! we smashed the cake with a toy axe that appeared out of nowhere! markitos bought a few cigars and they were passed around and toked upon!
we decied to keep it normal and went to the skate bar manolos. wen we arrived we found out that main guest of the wedding sunny had been arrested a few nights earlier by the secret police!!!!! when we went into the bar the bar hooked us up a bunch of free jager shots! this got the blood flowing and turned matty steak into instant blackout boy!!!! haahhaa. we all had a rad time! we played a wierd spanish version of spin the bottle with slapping hands instead. this was to hook up the super horny onterage who were ready for radness!
all in all the night was super super super super rad! thankyou to everyone who made it! especially the homies from foreign lands!!!!

shit im married.

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